


What Is And What Never Should Be

by orphan_account



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Casifer, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-03-20
Updated: 2013-03-20
Packaged: 2017-12-05 21:51:57
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,970
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/728291
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Castiel wakes up in a mysterious room with Lucifer, the archangel who used to steal moments with him under the forest canopy, smiling and away from the eyes of the Host. Lucifer's out, Castiel's still hopelessly in love, and the Apocalypse is still scheduled to go ahead.</p>
            </blockquote>





	What Is And What Never Should Be

**Author's Note:**

> So this pairing totally snuck up on me... I figured it takes place sometime after Carthage, but I'm not really all that sure. I've probably butchered the characterization, but please enjoy nonetheless.

Everything felt strangely fuzzy, Castiel thought. His eyes attempted to blink open but it felt as though an external force was shutting them, his limbs were heavy and his mouth was dry – feelings he was not yet completely used to. He sighed and blinked repeatedly until his eyes finally decided to stay open, although his vision was extremely blurry. He could feel that he was lying down, unrestrained, in an unfamiliar location. He inhaled and processed what he could smell – the Impala on his trench coat, the last place he could remember before he woke up here. The grainy fibers that made up the sofa he way lying on, a few blades of grass stuck to the bottom of Jimmy’s shoes (although Jimmy was long gone, Castiel still couldn’t think of this body as his own). 

The room smelled heavily of wood, mildew, moss and a slight hint of alcohol – whiskey, Castiel thought, remembering the smell from the multiple times he’d seen Dean downing a bottle of Jack Daniels. There was something else there too… a familiar yet unfamiliar scene of ozone, petrichor and brimstone. It was only then Castiel could sense another being in the room, and realized he wasn’t alone. Adrenalin rushed through him and he hauled himself into a sitting position, ignoring the rush of blood to his head and the uncomfortable brightness in his eyes, and looked to the figure sitting on the couch opposite him, separated by a table.

“Lucifer,” Castiel breathed. The archangel was lounging comfortably on the old (but not ratty) sofa, looking for all the world, completely at home. The angel sent a small smile Castiel’s way.

“Castiel. It’s good to see you brother… how many years has it been? Fifty millennia? More? Time passes interestingly in the Cage, I could never quite figure if it had been eons or seconds that passed,” Lucifer intoned quietly. Castiel’s eyes focused past Lucifer’s vessel to see the angel that resided inside and was extremely surprised to note how bright his Grace was… it seemed that Falling and being trapped in Hell for thousands of years did nothing to extinguish the supernova that was the Morningstar. Fortunately for Castiel, an existence of mostly stoicism allowed him to keep a straight face as he processed the information.

“Roughly four-hundred-thousand years ago, if my calculations are correct,” Castiel replied steadily. Lucifer huffed a cynical laugh.

“That’s longer than I thought, even I thought that Michael would pull me out of that wretched place much earlier than that. Big brother was always stubborn, however, that’s where you got it from, didn’t you?” Lucifer asked, peering at Castiel. “I remember you following us archangels around before everything went to Hell – pun intended. You learned your stubbornness and loyalty from Michael, your faith and virtue from Raphael, enjoyment and happiness and flight from Gabriel… and what you learned from me, well, _that’s_ a little difficult to forget,” Lucifer said with a lewd wink. Castiel resisted the extremely human urge to duck his head in embarrassment.

“What am I doing here, Lucifer?” he asked. The archangel shifted on the sofa and rested his elbows on his knees.

“I thought that I’d have a proper talk with you, Castiel, since the brief encounter in Carthage,” Lucifer informed. 

“You mean since you trapped me in a circle of holy fire so I was not able to rescue two of the best humans I have ever known, who showed me kindness and empathy, from being blown to pieces and ripped apart by hellhounds?” Castiel replied with gritted teeth and a scowl. Ellen and Jo had been good, and kind, and Castiel genuinely enjoyed their company. And it was his fault that they were gone.

“You surprise me with the extent of your love for them,” Lucifer mused.

“I’m just doing what our Father asked, something which you obviously had issue with,” Castiel snapped. Lucifer looked slightly stunned for a moment, and then let out a sharp barking laugh.

“I forgot what a mouth you had on you Castiel… well, actually, I didn’t,” Lucifer said, innuendo lacing his every word. Castiel narrowed his eyes. “Oh, don’t give me that look little brother, you remember it just as well as I do.”

“That was a very long time ago, Lucifer. Things have changed,” Castiel cautioned, the unspoken _you have changed_ resounding throughout the room. Lucifer sighed and ran a hand across his eyes, an unexpectedly human gesture.

“And I see that you’ve changed too, Castiel, in all the ways that matter,” he retorted, anger threaded throughout his words. “I didn’t expect you to actively be working against me.”

“I didn’t expect you to hold a grudge against Michael this long, Lucifer. And now Michael has the idea in his head that your battle is his _destiny_ and that he must do whatever it takes for it to pass. The battle will rage across this planet, which may I remind you, you _love_ ; decimate the population to almost nothing, including Sam and Dean Winchester, whom you seem especially dedicated to getting their consent, and destroying yourselves in the process. You think I want any of that to pass, Lucifer?” Castiel argued, his fingers inadvertently tightening in the thighs of Jimmy’s slacks. “I was trying to stop this from ever happening.”

“You were trying to keep me locked in the Cage for all eternity, left with my own anger, hatred and nightmares,” Lucifer hissed, his eyes boring into Castiel’s as the temperature in the room dropped a couple of degrees. 

“At least you wouldn’t be dead,” Castiel replied back. 

“You think Michael will win?” Lucifer asked, his tone deceptively empty.

“I think that Michael has the power of the entire Host behind him and is powered by the righteous obsession that has taken over his mind for millennia, and you are a Fallen angel who has been tormented and locked away,” the angel admitted. There was a tense silence in the room following Castiel’s passionate words. Lucifer slowly stood up; his eyes locked with Castiel’s as he walked around the table and crouched down in front of the angel.

“Do you remember what Heaven was like, Castiel, before humanity? Before Michael cast me down? When we were happy and Father was still home?” Lucifer asked, slightly wistfully. Castiel sighed.

“I’ve tried to forget,” Castiel confessed. 

“Do you remember when you would follow me around, enthralled by my light, as I laughed and would tell you tales from before your own making? When we would sit on the tips of the highest mountains and I would shape creation before you, for your entertainment? Do you remember when Gabriel taught you to fly and I looked on proudly, and you happily flew to me with those gunmetal grey wings of yours outstretched, and I took you in my arms?” Lucifer lamented. Without even noticing, Castiel’s hands were taken in the cool palms of the archangel. “Do you remember the stolen moments we had, hidden from the Host, just you and I, together, practically inseparable?” Lucifer continued, and Castiel felt a strange burning feeling in his sinuses.

“I’ve tried to forget,” Castiel whispered once again. “Those memories were too painful to remember without you.” Lucifer gave Castiel what seemed to be a sympathetic smile, and then leaned up, and pressed those cool lips to Castiel’s, lingering for a few moments. He pulled back slightly to peer into the impossible blue of the angel’s eyes.

“Don’t forget, I’m here now,” Lucifer murmured. 

“I missed you,” Castiel whispered, bringing his lips down so he could feel Lucifer’s lips brush against his as he spoke.

“As I missed you,” Lucifer replied equally as quietly.

“I thought that I would never see you again.”

“I knew that I would see you again.”

“I purged all emotion and closed myself off to become a warrior of Heaven so I wouldn’t lose myself in the pain.”

“I embraced the pain as I knew that one day I would see you again.”

“I loved you.”

“I loved you too.” Castiel shut his eyes and leant his forehead against Lucifer’s.

“I still love you,” he confessed under his breath. He felt Lucifer’s lips turn up against his own.

“And I you,” Lucifer said, his words followed by Castiel’s true name pronounced properly and truly in Enochian, and Castiel felt something wet track down his face as he pressed their lips together, eyes clenched shut. One of Lucifer’s hands disentangled from his to cup his cheek gently, his thumb swiping across his cheekbone. It was a desperate kiss, filled with loneliness and centuries of pain, forgotten memories and relief. Castiel trapped Lucifer’s face between his hands, fingers tangling in the small strands of hair behind the archangel’s ears, and opened his mouth for the archangel. Lucifer licked his way in gently, exactly the way he used to, and Castiel held back his whimper. 

The archangel managed to maneuver his way onto Castiel’s lap, all without breaking the blissful contact between their lips. Castiel shuddered as Lucifer’s tongue ran behind his top teeth, and then felt the archangel pull away, taking Castiel’s bottom lip between his teeth as he went. They separated, panting and clutching each other with a desperation seen only in lovers who had been apart for so long they were fearful the other would disappear, and also disbelieving that they were together again.  
Castiel tried to process the situation as Lucifer pressed gentle, loving kisses across the seraph’s jaw and cheeks, followed by a chaste kiss to the forehead, and Castiel couldn’t help but feel the tips of his mouth twitch up at the gesture.

“Now there’s something I’ve missed,” Lucifer whispered. Castiel blinked and looked into the eyes of the being that he’d missed for so long, and smiled even wider. 

“I can’t believe you’re really here, with me,” Castiel said. 

“I can’t believe that you’ll still accept me, after this long,” Lucifer replied. 

“I don’t want to lose you again.” 

“You won’t.” Castiel shut his eyes at Lucifer’s words and shook his head gently. 

“I will, Lucifer, of course I will. Anywhere we go from here, I will lose you to your vendetta against humanity, or your revenge against Michael, or to the impenetrable locks of the Cage, and losing you again will rip me apart. I barely survived last time,” Castiel admitted. 

“You w-“

“I will, Lucifer!” Castiel boomed, disappearing from under the archangel and appearing on the other side of the room. Lucifer just managed to catch himself on the couch, and whirled around to see an angry Castiel. 

“Whatever we do, you aren’t going to be able to win this fight! If Sam says no, Michael will be stronger than you! If Sam says yes, he will be stronger than you for Dean! It doesn’t matter where we go or what you do, I will end up losing you again after just getting you back, and I won’t be able to handle it!” Castiel exploded, desperation taking over his mind. 

“Castiel,” Lucifer tried to console, his hands raised in the universal symbol of surrender.

“No, Lucifer, you listen to me! You might have spent thousands of years or eons or seconds in that Cage, and I wager that the entire time you were going over every single way this could go, and I could bet my Grace that none of those situations involved you losing. Michael _will_ win this, whether you have spent eons planning or not. The only way you can survive this is if you cease this vendetta you have, if you apologize to Michael and ask to end this Apocalypse once and for all!” Castiel pleaded, fists clenched so hard he could feel the skin break and blood run down his palms. 

“Cas, you know I can’t,” Lucifer whispered. 

“Then I have to fight against you, Lucifer! I cannot support you or Michael in this _fated battle_ and I will do everything I can to protect this Earth, even at risk of losing you. I will _not_ go through it all again, I won’t!” Castiel shouted. He teleported immediately in front of the archangel and kissed him harshly, fingers digging into Lucifer’s biceps, trapping him there as effectively as the walls of his Cage. Castiel bit and licked desperately until he pulled away and saw that Lucifer’s lips were swollen and red.

“Does this not mean anything to you, Lucifer? You say you spent years knowing you’d come back to me while I spent millennia thinking that I would never see you again, and if I did, you would be some twisted, pitiful, vengeful version of the angel that I loved. I have you back and I don’t want to lose you,” Castiel said, his voice giving up on the last couple of words until he slumped forward onto Lucifer’s chest. “Don’t make me choose,” he whispered, all strength sapped out of him. He felt the devil’s arms surround his shoulders, and he nuzzled his face into Lucifer’s neck, inhaling the comforting scent. For minutes there was nothing but Castiel’s deep breathing and silence from Lucifer, the archangel trailing feather-light touches up and down Castiel’s spine.

“…Okay,” Lucifer acquiesced. Castiel frowned, sure that he’d heard wrong, and pulled back slightly to look up into Lucifer’s face, and was surprised to find a calm, serene smile.

“What?” Castiel gasped.

“I said okay. I’ll do it, Castiel. For you,” Lucifer said with a smile. “The things you bring out in me, angel, you’re a bad influence,” he teased lightly. Castiel couldn’t help but tighten his fingers into the front of Lucifer’s shirt as he crushed their lips together, not even bothering to breathe. He moved his arms to wrap around Lucifer’s neck, and let out a small noise when he felt Lucifer’s arms slip down to his thighs and hoist him up. Castiel immediately wrapped his legs around Lucifer’s waist for support, and the archangel chuckled lightly. Lucifer crossed the room and gently placed Castiel onto a sturdy dresser, all without separating their lips. It seemed to be Lucifer’s super power, Castiel mused. 

Lucifer’s lips slipped further down Castiel’s jaw, nipped at his earlobe, and trailed down his neck, sucking marks into the tanned skin that made Castiel gasp and tremble slightly. Lucifer almost immediately found his sweet spot, right in the junction between his neck and shoulder, and Castiel let out a soft moan. It seemed beautifully familiar, and he could almost imagine that it was thousands of years ago, the two of them intertwined on the soft forest floor of the Amazon, stealing precious, forbidden moments from each other, away from the eyes of the Host. They’d been stupid to think that nobody had noticed; after all, their Father knew all, but Castiel had caught him giving him a small wink once, and the angel hadn’t stopped blushing for days. Or as well as a multidimensional wavelength of celestial intent _could_ blush.

Castiel let out a gasp when Lucifer’s fingers brushed against the bulge of his jeans that Castiel hadn’t even noticed, and he whimpered quietly as Lucifer palmed against it. 

“Lucifer…” Castiel sighed, and the archangel lifted his head from his neck to send Castiel a small smirk as if to say _I haven’t forgotten any of the tricks I learned to get you to gasp and moan and quiver under my hands_. Castiel was vaguely thinking that this would be a rather difficult thing to explain to the Winchesters, when Lucifer’s hand was unzipping him, sliding his hand under his briefs to pull him out and stroke him gently. Castiel bit his lip and held in his moan as the archangel stroked him perfect and slow as Lucifer’s teeth dug gently into his neck. All thought flew out of Castiel’s mind for a few minutes, and when he came over the Morningstar’s fingers with a choked scream, he no longer could imagine life without Lucifer by his side. 

\--

Castiel was especially pleased the next day when he appeared in the Winchester’s hotel room after pressing a chaste kiss to Lucifer’s relaxed lips (the archangel had been lost in the depths of H.P Lovecraft) and announced that the Apocalypse was off. 

“What do you mean, the Apocalypse is _off_?” Dean burst out.

“I mean that Lucifer and I have come to an arrangement, and he has agreed to stop the Horseman and return to Heaven to reconcile with Michael. Neither of you will be further pressured into being vessels, if it goes accordingly,” Castiel declared with a slightly smug and proud smile. He would’ve laughed at the gob smacked looks on the Winchester’s faces, but he found the sensation to be rather strange and avoided it when possible. 

“I… are you serious?” Sam gasped. “No more angel torture, no more nighttime visits from Lucifer? The Apocalypse is… what, cancelled?” he asked in disbelief.

“Exactly. You two can go on living your lives without worrying about angels hunting you down anytime soon,” Castiel replied with a comforting smile. 

“I… holy crap, Cas, how did you swing that?” Dean spluttered. Cas opened his mouth to reply when he heard a familiar fluttering sound behind him, and felt Lucifer’s arms wrap around him from behind.

“Oh, he’s got his ways,” Lucifer purred, pressing a filthy kiss to Castiel’s neck, winking at the Winchesters. Castiel leaned into the movement much like a cat leaning into a petting, and the two angels disappeared, chuckling slightly at the absolutely shocked expressions on the faces of the two stammering Winchesters. Castiel could hear Dean calling to him indignantly, but he studiously ignored the prayers as Lucifer lowered him to the couch with a grin.

“We’ve got a lot of time to catch up on, Cas,” Lucifer whispered.

“All the time in the world,” Castiel smiled.


End file.
